Elfwood is the worlds largest SciFi & Fantasy community.
  - 93446 members, 38 online now.
  - 20905 site visitors the last 24 hours.

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Lindsay Verde

"Yshira - Chapter II" by Lindsay Verde

SF&F Picture 29 out of 29 by Lindsay Verde
Elfwood Patron
Tag As Favorite
 

Here Rihani's story continues and you learn a little more background.

Posted: December 2006 (no editing as of yet)


Add Bookmark
Tag As FavoriteComment
Chapter Two
Fears Revisited






They rode for what felt like hours to Rihani. She’d closed her eyes when the trees began to blur together and refused to open them again until she was certain they had stopped moving. Callum barely had time to catch her arm and prevent her tumbling to the ground as she flung herself off of Nightshade’s back.



As her feet touched solid ground her knees gave way and she collapsed, trembling. They were in a small clearing filled with sunlight and the soothing chatter of bird song. Rihani sat sprawled a few feet from the waters edge and she could hear its rushing current over the peaceful sounds of the forest.



Callum had dismounted and stood staring at her, patiently waiting.



“Those are not ordinary horses,” she stated flatly, her slight fear at the circumstances she found herself in forgotten.



“You’re right, they’re Xetdaar. What you just experienced is known as vill tur, the wild ride.”



“Forgive me if I say I never want to do that again.”



Callum chuckled and Nightshade nudged his shoulder, capturing his attention. Rihani looked away, uncomfortable, as they stood staring into one another’s eyes until Callum recalled himself to the present.



“We can camp in the trees across the river. We should be safe there for the night.”



Rihani followed the men to the rivers edge, trying to avoid looking into its turbulent depths. Her feet slowed and her steps shortened in length as she neared. Her heart thundered fit to burst her chest and little air could squeeze its way into her tight lungs the closer she got.



“At this rate the hunds will be upon us before we reach the water’s edge.” Nikoli bit out from atop Romathin’s back.



“Rihani?” Callum’s gentle voice tried to penetrate her terror as he cautiously stepped up beside her, hand poised above her shoulder. When she didn’t respond he thought better of it and his hand dropped.



“Rihani?” He tried again.



But she was beyond hearing. The river Rihani saw before her was not the Yerik but another, much swollen by spring rains and dangerous with undercurrents that threatened to suck under even the best of swimmers. It was market day in the nearby village where she and her father lived and they were heading to town to sell off some of the furs her father had caught during the winter.



Rihani was sitting on the wagon seat watching as her father tried to get stubborn Chikoteni the mule to move across the bridge. The rain poured down, pattering like hammers on an anvil on the rickety old wooden bridge, drenching through Rihani’s thin muslin dress. Father had just yelled at her to secure the tarp over the furs as she heard a great rush of sound from upstream and the water that had been inches below the bridge only moments before swallowed the creaking beams in seconds.



“Rihani, the dam has broke. Climb in with the furs quick-like and hold on!”



Rihani scrambled to do as her father bid, careful to hold on as the cart swayed with the current. She could see bits of debris; tree limbs, leaf litter, and garbage racing by on the swollen river. It had burst its banks for the first time since Rihani could recall and hungrily licked at the surrounding land.



She was scared; she didn’t know how to swim. Papa had said he would teach her this summer after the waters had warmed. What if she fell in? The hungry waters would swallow her up and she would drown. Her heart squeezed at the thought and her chest felt tight.



Chikoteni brayed in fear as Rihani peered through her sopping bangs at her father’s struggling. What happened next finished so quickly it was a blur of events in her minds eye. A tree that had given up its battle further upstream smashed into the bridge between her and her father. Wood splintered and the trunk of the tree broke in half, carried off down the river.



Rihani screamed, watching helplessly as her father was thrown to the side of the bridge with the impact and tumbled through the crater left by the felled tree. He disappeared below the rivers surface within seconds and Rihani struggled to disentangle herself from the furs as the current lifted the wagon. For one disorientating minute the wagon spun about madly as the force of the rushing water dashed it against the rail and out into the turgid river. Freezing water snaked its icy grip about her ankles and clawed its way painfully up her legs, weighing down her skirts as she struggled to climb the mound of furs.



By the time her frozen legs managed to carry her there the water had arrived as well and the wagon filled and was dragged down. An oak tree that been growing at what would normally be the waters edge offered out its spindly branches and Rihani caught one as the wagon sank below the surface and the water closed over her head. But she wasn’t strong enough to pull herself up against the draw of the current. Her lungs burned with fire and it took every ounce of strength she had not to gasp in hopes of finding some much needed air as blackness closed around her.



*




Callum had expected something when she’d asked about the Yerik, but not this. She stood stone still, the amber surfaces of her eyes reflecting horrors he couldn’t identify. He could see a muscle in her jaw clenching and unclenching as reflexively as her fisted hands.



Conscious of Nikoli watching impatiently a few feet away, Callum met his eyes and shrugged.



“Well, shake her, do something. I’m not waiting here for her woman’s fit.”



So Callum turned back and reached out to shake her shoulder just as she collapsed. She ended up crumpling forward onto his reaching arms and dragging him to the ground before he could brace his feet. Getting himself upright, Callum quickly checked her breathing, hand behind her neck as he watched her chest rise an inch.



“So how do we know she’s not been sent spying?” Callum hadn’t heard Nikoli move as he’d crept up behind him.



Callum’s fingers closed reflexively about the back of her neck as he glanced over his shoulder at Nikoli. “She’s no spy,” and he scooped her up in his arms, carrying her back to where Nightshade stood patiently waiting. Callum knew Nikoli was scowling, he had hoped they would have a valid excuse for leaving her here.



Draping her gently across the riding pad, Callum hoisted himself up behind her, pulling her back to lean upright against his chest as Nightshade waded into the waters edge. Both Xetdaar were careful to securely place each of their hooves before moving another. One wrong step on the algae covered rock bed would have them toppling into the turgid river.



They were almost a quarter of the way across when Nikoli spoke. “So, the rumors are true, it wasn’t just speculation. Zaedir believes the time has come.”



“Maybe by his actions he has set the events he most feared into motion.”



The water crackled by as Nikoli and Callum stared somberly at each other, each thinking along similar lines. Was the future these events would lead to the one they had been promised?
←- Yshira - Chapter I | At World's End -→

DateNameComment 
16 Feb 2007:-) Linda M. Billson
*First comment struggle back to life*

*Gasp! Hack! Cough!* I'm Aliiiiiive! [consolingly pats the dog who looked worried at all the spluttering]

Ooo! Background indeed! Very sad, and well written too. Poor girl! and it actually has relevance in the story ... I've written something that actually has relevance in the story! [does happy dance]

I like Callum a lot. me too, he's such a sweet character .. a bit like my older brother in personality The more I read, the more I like. [hands out cookie] I'm very glad that the storyline seems to be working! I know each chapter gets choppier than the last ... but I kind of use elfwood to help me smooth them out a bit ... these chapters are in no way the finished product. After I get a few more I'll probably go back and edit them all, adding in more information, changing some, and taking some out.

Turgid is such a cool word. Lol ... I'm trying to expand my descriptive vocabulary instead of staying within my comfort zone.

Can I venture to hope that more will be coming soon? I have started the third chapter ... and I think I have two pages of it finished, if I'm not mistaken. And now I'm finished my exams so I can spend more time writing, YAY! Or will I have to sit by my bedroom window, staring into space with dreamy puppy eyes? I hope not .... but puppy eyes are so cute! [pats]I may just do that anyway. *stares dreamily into space with puppy eyes* [snuggles]

The Me strikes again! [scary music starts playing]
22 Feb 2007:-) Karu Hernandez
Wow! poor Rihani!! T^T she really had a terrible flashback. Yeah ... she really doesn't like water
Callum is sooo adorable!! I know, I just lurve him to bits [pats an annoyed looking Callum lovingly on the head] he doesn't bite, does he? [looks apprehensive]Really, he is a cute guy... but I still love Nikoli... maybe 'coz he's kinda cold with her... *u*. Ah, the draw of the elusive personality
Everytime I became more impatient to know the rest of this incredible story ^^ Yshira Fan#1!! 1D *hugz* [huggles back] There will be more! I've been working on the third chapter for a bit now ... hit a little bit of a glitch that I'll have to go back and work on to fix ... so it may be a little delayed. But try reading From the ashes to tide yourself over till it comes.
24 Feb 2007:-) Beth Alice O´Leary
More Yshira! [loves this story] *pulls out salmon* fish?

Ye gods, Linds, your writing improves every time I turn my back. *runs over and turns bethies back to her again so she can write some more* This is easy to read, fluid, engaging, with lovable characters and natural dialogue.. I hardly know what to say! yay! I'm speechless! My nitpicking brain is struggling, here! Must.. find.. something.. helpful.. to.. say.. the greatest compliment I could get! 1

“Her feet slowed and her steps shortened in length as she neared.” – maybe ‘as she drew near’? ‘as she neared’ sounds like there should be another word afterwards, to me. I agree. I think I might get rid of the "in length" as well ... not neccessary.

“Her heart thundered fit to burst her chest and little air could squeeze its way into her tight lungs the closer she got.” – for some reason this doesn’t quite make sense this way. It’s to do with ‘little’ – if you read it through, since you have ‘the closer she got’ at the end, it should be ‘less’, but ‘little’ sounds better.. I can’t think of a good way to restructure it other than that though; sorry! that's ok, it's a poorly constructed sentence to begin with, so it's hard to work with. I think I might scrap "the closer she got."

Aww [loves Callum] don't you just love him? *squeezes* He’s adorable, so sweet and gentle, the way he doesn’t touch her shoulder etc.. Nikoli, despite his pretty name, is a nuisance. He better get nicer as this story goes on, or I worry he might rather ruin things.. *sits down with a pad of paper, pencil sharpened and ready to go* now, by ruining things ... do you mean wrecking the story itself because he's such an annoying character, or ruin things for Rihani? *licks pencil tip before placing it on the paper* GACK! *sticks out tongue and tries to wipe off awful taste* I saw that on a movie once and wanted to try it ... don't recommend it!

“much swollen” – I only draw your attention to this one ‘cause I’m not quite sure if you can say ‘much swollen’, could be an American thing though, or I could, alternatively, be going slightly crazy. It's probably not proper english. I have a way of sneaking those things in there.

“Rihani, the dam has broke” – [itches to put an ‘n’ on the end] Is that another American thing? Heh. I know it’s speech, I’m not saying you should change it, I just reeeally want to put an ‘n’ there [slaps hand] *laughs* you better slap that hand ... with an 'n' on the end it changes the meaning completely *winks*

Fantabulous decription of the river bursting its banks ^_^ yay!

“An oak tree that [had] been growing at what would normally [have] be[en] the waters edge” – I think.. sounds good to me *Shrugs shoulders*

“it took every ounce of strength she had not to gasp in hopes of finding some much needed air as blackness closed around her.” – ‘not to gasp in hopes’? I don’t think that should be plural, for starters, and also: why isn’t she allowed to gasp to get some air? erm ... guess I didn't get the point across as well as I'd hoped ... she's under the water at this point. At least I think she is ... now I'm confuzzled!

You’ve become a master of short, engaging descriptions that say a lot in a few carefully chosen words.*blushes at the praise* but I wouldn't say master ... still got lots more improvement in that department Lindsay, I am so, so impressed! And gaahh for cliffhanger endings when you don’t have more written..! all you need is a good bungee cord *smiles convincingly while holding one out*Sorry I couldn’t really find much helpful to say, heh.. I choose to take that as a very big compliment! 1 *cookies!*
8 Mar 2007:-) Désirée Dippenaar
Yay! Background info!! ^^ I love the flashback~ Poor thing though... you really captured Rihani's feelings!

And I know everyone's said that before me as well, but I like Callum 10 Yes, Callum seems to have quite a fan club ... he's just so adorable and bulky though, you can't help but love him Hahaha~ Though Nikoli has a very interesting personality too ^^ So suspicious... Knowing me, even though I don't like his personality, I'd end up liking him because I want to "fix him". I'm such a sap!

I'm wondering now what Rihani will find at their destination ^^ And I'm interested in the gypsies coming up! Oh, and I wonder who Zaedir is... what a way to end this chapter!

I hope chapter three will come soon! ^^ Tell me when it does~For sure. I've gotta make a list of which person wants to know when which story is updated ... I'm losing track.
30 Mar 2007:-) Sarah-amy haley
May I join the Callum fan club please, I likes him too. He’s gotta be one of the like-able-est characters I’ve ever written I know I keep mentioning your description but it really IS good. *blushes* aw, you’re so sweet. I really work at it ... though perhaps not as much as I should. Naomi is always after me to use more than just visual to describe settings and she is right. I’ve got to remember to add more variety of sensory perception The flash back was very impressive - Have a sweetie ... they’re Yorkshire Mixtures. Lol, everyone seems to be giving me yorkshire food this week *chuckles* You’ve put me in a writing mood now, yeehee. yay! I always love when stories inspire me to write, and it’s a wonderful compliment when someone says that mine have inspired them to write, so thank you! I went back and re-read this chapter after reading your comment and this is where I got an idea that I’m planning to use in your comment prize. ;P
14 Jun 2007:-) Lynn K Hollander
A continuity question: When did Rihani tell her rescuers her name?

:-) Lindsay Verde replies: "Oop, I can see I forgot to include that part in my update of the first chapter. That happens when Callum tells Rihani his own name along with Nikoli’s. Back to the editing board. Thanks for pointing that out."
Not signed in, Add an anonymous comment to this guestbook...    

Your Name:
Your Mail:
   Private message? (Info)



About 'Yshira - Chapter II':
 • Status: OK
 • Created by: :-) Lindsay Verde
 • Copyright: ©Lindsay Verde. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Water, Fear, Gypsy, Drowning, Cart, Magic, Xetdaar, Horses
 • Categories: Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc., Mythical Creatures & Assorted Monsters, Romance, Emotion, Love
 • Views: 482


More by 'Lindsay Verde':
Desert Rose - Chapter V
Yshira Prologue
Desert Rose - Chapter II
Cast Me Gently
TLI 00: Aliyah & Ivan 2/2
TLI 4.5: Revenge of Azadaar Niim
Near to Dreams - Part I
The Last Ignithian Chapter 2

Related Tutorials:
  • 'On Teen Writing' by :-)Elisabeth A. Wilhelm
  • 'Narration on Narration' by :-)Amanda B. Melheim
  • 'Description, Dialogue, & Action' by :-)Jessica Barnes
  • Art Education Finder...
  •  
     

    Elfwood™ is a site for Fantasy and Science Fiction art and stories created by Thomas Abrahamsson and helpful assistants and moderators, owned by the Elfwood corporation.

    [More...]