Travelling Caravan
Here's Etains journey to the Haluri Desert Oasis for the Samhain festival. One of my favourite chapters, along with Chapter VI. I hope you enjoy.
February 2007
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When Etain peeked out from beneath her covers the next morning the sun was already heating the tent. She got dressed and quietly crept out. Most of the tribe was still sleeping off the nights revelry but that would all change when the tent city disappeared before the Gods eyes.
As a small child Etain had loved to climb to the highest point in the camp and watch the tents being dismantled all around her. That was until she would be called to carry everything out to the hakkau to be loaded up.
She gave a great yawn and headed to the south-east end of camp to see if Princess Delane was up yet. She was supposed to be completing her third task today, since she’d finished herb lore three days ago. Unfortunately she’d been so busy worrying about the dance last night that she hadn’t done any studying.
When she got to Delane’s tent it was to find the tent flap still down. Since there wasn’t a servant posted outside, it meant she was either sleeping or had already left.
Etain decided to take Iceni out for some exercise while she waited for word from Princess Delane. The heat from the sun was already causing Etain to sweat under her sutah. Since she’d been dressed to meet Princess Delane she wasn’t wearing clothes suitable for riding. To improvise she hiked up her sutah, tucking the ends into her waistband before she hoisted herself up onto Iceni’s back. She landed rather awkwardly, causing Iceni to lay his ears back along his head in disapproval. But true to his breeding he didn’t move a muscle. Etain rubbed his neck in apology until his ears came forward again and then set off.
The camp was pretty much back to normal after the sand storm. Everyone had worked together to move the mounds of sand that had been tossed amidst the settlement. The fence of the hakkau corral had been mended and the communal tent cleaned out after the horses were moved.
As she passed the Foster tent she sighed as heaviness settled on her heart. There was a new charcoal streak burned onto the outside of the tent to mark their loss. It seemed that in the last couple of years the desert had claimed many members of their tribe. There certainly seemed to be more fresh mourning marks on the outside of tents than even just two years ago. She desperately hoped that they would return to Capel Celyn soon, their way of life in the desert was dying, as it became increasingly dangerous to live there with each passing year.
Back at Princess Delane’s tent she found a note tacked onto the door flap telling her to go to the Sheppa tent. Their servant pulled aside the tent flap and ushered her in, to find a man lying on a pallet off to the side of the tent. The women of the family were all gathered around his legs along with Princess Delane who waved her over when she looked up.
“Harrold went out hunting yesterday and was gored in the leg by a taurin. It has already begun to fester and I need you to mix up a poultice for this. Poisons such as this kind are tricky and best drawn out of the body slowly lest they do more damage in the removal.”
Studying the shape of the wound and the pattern of the spreading red of infection Etain could decifer which sub-species of taurin caused this. There were three different sub-species that had evolved and each of them carried a slightly different neurotoxin in their horns. The toxins were harmless unless exposed to open flesh and fluids. Powdered taurin horn slipped into someone’s drink was an extremely fast and effective way to kill.
Luckily, the hunters had managed to carry him back to camp before the toxins could reach his central nervous system or it would’ve been too late. As it was, there might still be some permanent nerve damage to his leg.
Princess Delane had her bag of herbs with her and Etain set to work finding the herbs she would need. First she crushed them and, using the sap of the makou tree, made a paste to apply to the wound. Overtop of the wound she placed a wide strip of bark from the makou tree to help absorb the toxins once the poultice drew them out of the body.
She couldn’t do anything more about the toxins without doing more damage than good. But wounds of this kind had often been unwittingly exposed to agents of other kinds that could just as easily kill a man as the toxins could.
Closing her eyes, she searched for the wellspring of her magic. The calm green ebb and flow through her entire body, subtle as a spring breeze. It was faster to respond now that she’d logged the feeling in the back of her brain, and knew exactly how to call it forth.
Placing her hand on his leg, she willed the fire up, through her arm and out into his body. It was seeking, searching bone, muscle, and cartilage tissue for any foreign matter and burning it into extinction upon discovery.
As the last grains were eradicated, Etain opened her eyes to see Princess Delane smiling at her as she opened a small wooden box and withdrew another gold bracelet. This one was engraved with two fig leaves and a precious stone.
She’d now earned three out of the four bracelets for a healer. One more task and she would be a true healer and Princess Delane would be able to retire. Each craft had different tests designed to shape the person for their craft. Priests had the least number at two, while warriors had six tasks. The final task for each craft was the hardest of its kind.
Since it was now eleven o’clock Etain had to hurry back to the tent to pack up most of her things so they could load the hakkau.
The midday meal was just being cleared away as she entered the tent. Alori indicated a plate covered with a cloth and Etain sat to eat. Rhiannon and Setana had already begun to clear up and pack away their things, while Timo remained face-down on his pallet.
After she’d finished eating, Etain tip-toed across the mat to where Timo was sleeping. Giving a loud yell she pounced on him.
Timo, with surprising agility for one who was supposed to have been asleep, hooked an arm around her waist and sent her tumbling as he rolled onto his side and wrestled her to the ground. Etain shrieked but soon gave in to fits of giggles as he resorted to tickling to keep her pinned.
Alori looked on fondly as Rhiannon and Setana came to Etains aid and joined in the dog-pile. It was her fondest wish that Timo and Etain should form an attachment. The tent needed the pitter-patter of little feet again.
With a defeated sigh and a heave Timo got to his feet. “Ok, ok, you win! I’m up!”
With everyone working together to pack, they were done before they knew it. All that remained were the pallets and the tent itself.
Timo and Etain took the rest of the packs out to the hakkau corral.
“So...only one more trial and you’re a healer eh? Have any idea what it is?”
“None. Princess Delane won’t speak of it, she won’t even tell me about what her own final trial was. In fact, nobody I’ve asked will tell me about their final task,” Etain grunted the last as she hoisted the packs that had been slipping in her arms.
They piled all the packs just inside the reach of their tethered hakkau. Hakkau had surprisingly long lives. Their current hakkau they’d had for the past 15 years; because they had such longevity they were fiercely loyal to their owners. When the people of Capel Celyn were first cast out of their city they’d used hakkau as guards to watch over their tents and keep folsta and wyverns from getting too close.
“I managed to catch the end of the dance trials the other night. You’re a pretty good dancer.”
Remembering Rhiannon’s comment from the night before Etain blushed. “Y-you think so?” She stammered out.
“Well sure, it’s not a really hard skill to master.”
If Etain hadn’t caught the laughter in his eyes she would’ve smacked him. As it was, she was sorely tempted. The only thing that stopped her was the thought of the wrestling match earlier.
“So you think dancing is easy? How come I didn’t see you out there then?”
“Solo dancing isn’t my specialty.” He said as he waggled his eyebrows at her.
Laughing, Etain looped her arm through his as they continued back to the tent.
Etain woke up to find the sun beginning its creeping journey into the tent. She quickly folded up her pallet and carried it along with the rest of her things out to be loaded up.
Theirs was one of the first tents to come down and be packed away. With that finished, Etain climbed out to her sand dune, Timo trailing behind.
The camp was beginning to come alive with the sounds of everyone bustling about. Every few minutes there would be a puff of sand as a tent pole was pulled out and the skin collapsed.
Oisin had decided to join them and he lay panting at their feet. His tail gave a few grateful thumps as Timo leaned over to give his ears a rub.
This was one of the characteristics that had drawn Etain’s interest. She’d always known she couldn’t completely respect someone who had no regard for animals.
“So, what do you think about the prophecy?” Timo looked up at her from where he sat.
Etain shifted a bit self-consciously under his intense stare, unsure how honest she wanted to be.
“I’m not certain. I mean, yes, we have a prophecy we’ll return to this old city, but we don’t know when and what has happened to it since we left?”
“I just don’t understand how something can be there and nobody has found it. Wouldn’t someone have come across it, run into it?”
“I don’t know,” Etain sighed, perplexed.
They set off around noon, the midday sun glaring down on them. Etain rode Iceni while Timo rode the family horse Tezine, a brown gelding. His temperament was such that Etain wondered if he hadn’t been gelded a little late.
Alori, Rhiannon, and Setana rode atop the shoulder ridge of the hakkau as most families in the tribe were forced to do. The Hitana tribe was one of the few that had enough horses for every tribe member to ride. But it made for slower and more cumbersome travel.
The camp was heading north on the week long trip to the river hidden in the forest at the Sacred Mountains base. There they would fill up on enough water to last the three week journey to Haluri. They would also meet up with the Obikawa tribe and travel together.
Alori was particularly looking forward to this because her sister had followed a man of the Obikawa tribe. After her second child had been born, Ubrinda ended up leaving his tent, but had come to love the tribe and so had stayed.
Rhiannon and Etain both looked forward to seeing their cousins Kaelynn and Brittni. It had been four years since they’d attended the last Samhain and their travels didn’t coincide often enough with the Obikawa tribe for them to have visited before then.
Iceni was particularly energetic that afternoon, so Etain let him have his head. He took off, weaving amongst the train of hakkau. Etain waved to those families she knew, and greeted friends she’d grown up with.
Etains backside and legs were showing early signs of the long ride by the time they stopped to make camp for the night. Many of the younger children who weren’t used to the long traveling hours had required frequent rest breaks so they could get up and work off some of their pent up energy.
Etain was grateful to be able to get out and stretch her legs as she and the other women set to work. They needed to get all the vegetables chopped and ready to go in the pots by the time the hunters got back. The food they had gathered and stored while they’d been camped was to be saved for the festival, or eaten only as a last resort if nothing else could be found.
The children were put to work scrounging up kindling from nearby scrub bushes to feed the fires the shaman had started up.
Since it would be a fairly warm night the tents weren’t to be set up, and to preserve what little kindling they had, only three fires were lit to cook a large enough meal to feed everyone.
There were enough jobs to keep everyone busy. There were the vegetables to be chopped, spices to be mixed, fires to be watched, a latrine to be dug, pallets to be set out around the fires, and the kill to be dressed when the hunters returned.
Etain and a few other women were almost finished chopping all the vegetables when the hunters came walking into the camp. A few had quello carcasses slung over their shoulder, while others carried the small ferret-looking marsupial called a morkki. The best surprise though, was the taurin carcass that had been strung up between four men. It’s meat would be enough for two nights of travel.
The carcasses were quickly dressed and the meat added to the cook pots. What extra meat was left was seasoned and wrapped, before being buried under the fire to cure for later.
There wasn’t much conversation that night around the campfire as everyone concentrated on filling their stomachs. When the meal was finished, every pot having been scraped clean, they sat dreamily around the fire, small murmurs of conversation starting up here and there.
Someone started singing and others joined in, idly adding a melody note here, a harmony line there. Many were too tired and content to join in.
Etain figured it was as good a time as any to seek her bed. She didn’t know if she could keep her eyes open much longer and tomorrow would come soon enough. As she curled into her sleeping blankets she fell asleep to Juanita’s sweet soprano voice and the fire warming her back.
The next few days fell into the same pattern, more or less. Some days they found nuts or small berries that they could add to their meals and others they found nothing. But the extra food was always dried and stored away for later, nothing went to waste.
It wasn’t until the sixth day that the comforting monotony of travel was broken. They’d been moving through bandit country for the past two days and were now only a days hard ride from the forest when Etain noticed a cloud of sand approaching swiftly from the southeast.
“Bandits!” She yelled as she urged Iceni back to her family’s hakkau.
Everyone raced into action. Those families who could spare their horses or hakkau were loaded up with other families, while the hunters and warriors grabbed all available weapons before mounting up. They would hold off the bandits long enough for the women and children to get to the trees to hide.
Since Suki’s father and brother would need their horse and hakkau, she climbed aboard with Rhiannon and Setana. Even Timo, who hunted mostly as a past time, would be needed.
When the switch ups were finished Halek gave the order and the women sent the hakkau racing for the forest in the distance. Etain could hear the hakkau lowing over their thunderous stampede as they raced away.
“Halek, let me help, I can use a bow.” Etain pleaded as she turned back to face the warriors.
“No! You’re no use to us Etain, you’d only be a hindrance and a worry. Now get going!”
Etain hesitated, torn. She could see that they were vastly outnumbered and needed all the help they could get. But tradition and custom dictated that she wasn’t to play a part in this.
“Please Etain, I’d be distracted if you stayed.” Timo pleaded with her.
Looking into his eyes and seeing the concern hidden there decided it. Giving one last glace at the rapidly approaching bandits, Etain turned Iceni and fled after the hakkau train. Over the thunder of his hooves she strained to hear any sounds of the battle behind her. She was too far away now to hear anything but the bellow of the hakkau as they met the charging bandits.
Etain longed to turn Iceni back around and fight. It was a horrible thing to have to sit and wait for your fate to occur instead of doing something about it. How lucky the men were to be able to fight, she’d give almost anything for that freedom.
She was coming up on the trailing hakkau’s, and as she passed them she could see the worried faces of every member of the tribe. These were their husbands, brothers, and sons they had just left behind, and they might never see them alive again.
Nightfall was coming as they neared the trees. They should be there just after dusk had fallen. Around noon they’d had to slow their pace. The hakkau couldn’t keep at a run for very long. They’d already lost one of the young ones to the heat and stress of keeping the pace. Iceni was in a good lather, his nostrils flaring with every huffing breath.
The strain of worry had tired many of the younger children, and they dozed off in their parents watchful arms. Etain herself was ready to drop from exhaustion when she chanced a look behind her and saw a dark mass on the horizon.
Someone cried out, and the shuffling train stopped. As the mass moved closer they could see the hakkau and horses of the hunters and warriors. Etain apprehensively turned Iceni to go and meet them, fearing what she might find. When she got there her face froze and her heart skipped a beat in her chest.
About a third of the men were injured, carried on the backs of their comrades hakkau. Etain quickly counted heads and found that out of the twelve who stood to face the bandits, only ten remained, two of them mortally injured.
When they reached the shelter of the trees they made camp, those who weren’t attending to the wounded making the meal. Etain, alongside Delane, worked to sew sword gashes and repair broken bones. Zane, Arthak, William, and Aldin only had minor superficial wounds. It was Armindo, Timo, Ihpac and Speta whose wounds were serious and in need of immediate attention.
Armindo had been defending his sons back from an attack when his horse had been shot with an arrow and reared over crushing his leg in three places. Rhiannon had given him karris root Delane had measure out to keep him comfortable until they could get to him. He was in a state of shock since the adrenaline from the fight had worn off, so Rhiannon would monitor him through the night.
Timo had taken an arrow in the shoulder, and while she worried about him, Ihpac required her immediate attention. He had been too slow to block an attack and had received a deep gash from his left hip to his knee as a result. If they didn’t stop the bleeding he would die within a matter of minutes.
Etain tried to concentrate on finding the severed vein, willing the groans and cries of pain to fade into the background. She had covered healing of this kind and knew, theoretically, what to do, but the sight of so much blood still pumping out of his body was making her hands shake. Mercy had scrubbed down with her and knelt across from Etain determinedly holding the wound open, face averted, lips white.
Etain almost gave a shout when she finally managed to clamp the vessel. Wiping the blood from her hands, she tied the vessel with treated thread before setting to work repairing the rest of the damage.
She had the beginnings of a headache and her body felt over-tired. Delane finished her work on Speta’s arm and came to sit next to her.
“You look exhausted, get some rest. You will learn quickly enough that your resources as a healer aren’t innumerous and you will overtax your strength if you aren’t careful.”
Etain was too tired to reply, instead just nodding her understanding.
By the time they had attended to all the wounded, it was completely dark, the meal was finished, and the children had been sent to bed. There had been no singing around the campfire that night as family members anxiously watched over their loved ones, praying that they would survive.
Etain staggered over to the pot where Suki was dishing up bowls of soup for those who had been busy attending the wounded. Everyone was too tired to set up the tents so the pallets had been arranged around the fire. Etain found hers and collapsed upon it.
Rolling over Etain groaned as the many bruises and sore muscles protested the movement. The hard ride and then kneeling while suturing had left many aching body parts. Even her eyes felt sore and a bit gravelly from straining to see in the fading light. Even though she had slept the night through, she felt utterly exhausted. Using her magic to help her see had its price.
Sliding to her feet she walked over to check on Timo.
“How is he doing?” Alori asked Etain as her eyes slid open and she sat up.
“He’s sleeping peacefully and hasn’t developed a fever. The sleepwort I gave him last night should keep him out for another hour or so. You can go back to sleep.” Etain kissed her cheek and rose to check on the other injured.
Armindo said he’d had a pretty rough night so Etain gave him enough karris root to numb the pain so he could sleep. Checking his leg, she found it still bound firmly in place, and it looked as straight now as it had last night. Once the karris root took effect she would come back to probe the bone and make sure it was properly aligned.
Speta seemed to still be unconscious from his surgery the night before. Etain checked Ihpac’s dressing and the wound had only seeped a little blood throughout the night. He was still out of it enough from the sleepwort she’d given him the night before that she decided to change his bandage. But when she went to reach around him to undo it, the heat radiating off of him made her pause. Sending up a prayer to the gods, she reached out her hand to his forehead, fearful of what she would find. Sure enough, her hand came away hot.
Slowly, very slowly because she was tired, she reached inside herself for the green fire of her magic. It was there, a tiny ball dormant within her. She nudged it with her mind, coaxing it to grow, but nothing happened. Taking a deep breath, she tried again. There wasn’t even a flicker. She was too tired, had taxed herself too heavily the previous night. There was only one option left to her if she wanted to save Ihpac, and the words were formed and out of her mouth before her brain had a chance to analyze the wiseness of her decision.
“Eoniah, Goddess of life and creation, show me the way-”
Etains magic roared up with a sound like a thunderclap, pounding through her body like a herd of horses. She burned with the raw magic, a green fire contained only by her skin. Tears ran down her cheeks as the fire threatened to eat her alive. She wouldn’t survive, the heat was too much and she would burst like a rotten fruit.
I am here. A voice like the trickling of a stream beneath the thunder of a landslide had her cringing where she knelt, hands clapped over her ears; though somehow she knew this wasn’t a sound that could be heard, or thus quieted.
Etain fought back, beating the fire into submission as she reached out a hand and lay it on Ihpac’s arm. She could see the fever, it hung over him like a read fog, hungrily sipping up every last vestige of strength and health he had.
She let the fire loose into Ihpac and it scoured, burning through the fever as it went. Gathering momentum, it took on a life of it’s own and Etains temples began to pound.
You must slow it down.
Stripes of black and yellow fire crossed her vision as a great roaring sound filled her ears.
Delane felt the surge of power even in her sleep and sat bolt upright in time to watch Etain crumple over.
“Timo, come quick!”
Someone was shaking her, and hard. She was too tired, couldn’t they just let her sleep for a little longer. Etain clenched her eyes tighter and turned back to the figure beside her.
“Do you come?” he asked in a voice of midnight black, hand reaching out.
Etain’s heart sang as her hand slowly, as though moving through molasses, rose to meet it. There was a dark, soothing absence behind the man that beckoned, promising peace and relaxation so different to that offered by the harsh light she walked from.
“Etain!” A voice called urgently from far off and she paused, startled by the longing that one word contained. She glanced suspiciously at the man, she felt she should know him.
“How do you know my name?” Her hand remained suspended between them.
“It wasn’t I calling, look,” he pointed beyond.
Etain turned to find the glade they had camped in behind her, viewed as if through the entrance to a cave. It was from there that the harsh light emanated.
She could see Ihpac where she’d left him. A little color had returned to his pallid cheeks, so her healing must have worked. Beside him there was a flurry of activity, she could see Princess Delane, and that was Timo. They were kneeling over something, shaking it. That something, she realized, was her.
She turned to the man, anxiety eating her even as she didn’t fully comprehend. “I don’t understand. What’s going on? Am I ... dead?”
“Not exactly.”
“Exactly?” She squeaked out.
“The farther you step away from yourself, the deeper you go into death. At a certain point, your spirit can no longer sustain your body from such a distance, and your mortal life ends. Yours lies there,” he pointed and a line of fire snaked across the ground in front of Etain’s foot, causing her to jump back.
She could feel the heat radiating from the light behind her, life. And it called to her, drawing, like a moth to a flame. She didn’t want to resist its pull, but that of the darkness beyond the man, who she realized must be Tchekichaun, was seductive in its lure.
“What will it be?” He asked.
“You mean I have a choice?” He nodded.
Etain now understood how those in their final hours found themselves unafraid of the unknown of death. Put this way, it didn’t seem frightening at all, rather appealing.
The sensation of shaking came again and she turned to watch as Timo knelt over her, pressing his lips to hers and blowing air into her inactive chest. She could feel a ghost of his lips and reached her hand up to gently trace her fingers there as her chest rose and fell with his breath.
To lose Timo, Rhiannon, and all the countless others forever? A picture formed in her minds eye of her family standing together outside the tent they shared, close friends around as they added the first charcoal mark to the hide. Their future grief reached out to wrap her up and she couldn’t bear it.
“I’m sorry, I have to go back,” she was startled to find tears on her cheeks.
Tchekichaun nodded once, slowly, and stared out past her. Turning, she walked back toward the light and her life, unable to bring herself to glance behind her at the figure she knew to still be standing there.
It was like being dropped froma great height as Etain gasped and air rushed into her lungs. Blinking, she looked up to find Timo hovering over her, an anxious look on his face. Beyond him stood Princess Delane, a relieved smile on her face.
“You gave us quite a scare there-”
“Don’t you ever, ever do that again,” Timo berated fiercely, punctuating each word with a shake of her shoulders.
Etain couldn’t help it, it felt so wonderful to have those who cared surrounding her, that she smiled.
“I don’t believe it,” Timo stated incredulously, rocking back onto his heels. “I tell her not to try and kill herself again and she just smiles!” His voice escalated until he was practically shouting.
“I-” Etain paused as her voice croaked. Maybe she didn’t feel so wonderful after all. Her throat was hoarse, as if she’d been screaming and her chest felt as if someone had sat on it. Hard. Not to mention she had the beginnings of a pounding headache and she felt so very tired.
“Do people usually feel this bad when they’ve died?” She grated out, rubbing her chest.
Timo’s eyes widened as his lips clamped shut. He looked as if he couldn’t decide whether to strangle or kiss her. The latter won out.
Reaching behind her head he leaned down, covering her lips with his own in a fierce kiss. Etain felt like she was floating on air when he sat back.
“I had to silence you somehow,” he explained, a smile breaking across his face.
“Your shoulder!” Etain protested as he made to scoop her up.
“It’s nothing, Princess Delane fixed it up pretty good last night after you sewed it. You,” he pointed, “need sleep,” and he proceeded to pick her up and carry her to her sleeping pallet, where someone had the foresight to rig a shelter for shade.
When Etain woke next, the sun was high in the sky and her clothes felt clammy next to her skin in the heat. Alori must’ve been watching her, for as soon as Etain’s eyes fluttered open, she was there smiling.
“How are you feeling?”
“Like I need a bath. How long have I slept?”
“Three days, you quite wore yourself out.”
“Three days! I’ve got to go help Princess Delane,” and she made to get up but groaned when her head began to spin.
“Hold on there, you’re still recovering. I have strict orders to keep you here until Delane has a spare moment to check on you.”
“The injured?”
“Some healers from the Obikawa tribe came and helped, don’t worry. They’re all fine and on the mend.”
“Even Ihpac?” Etain searched Alori’s eyes anxiously. If he’d been going to take another turn for the worse, it would’ve already happened.
“He has mended the fastest of all, though he will carry a handsome scar. It’s as though a great hand of fire reached out and grasped his shoulder.” Etain remembered the feeling of being burned alive, and kept her mouth shut.
“How does the invalid, I can see that she’s awake.” Princess Delane smiled as she came over.
“Hungry, dirty, and impatient to get out of bed.”
“All in good time. Could I speak with Etain alone for a minute Alori?”
Alori nodded, sending a look toward Etain that she couldn’t interpret before disappearing.
“I warned you, child. Stretching your magic is a dangerous risk and you almost paid the price.” Delane turned her back on Etain, staring out at the camp.
“Princess Delane, I had to. Ihpac was dying, he needed my help.”
Delane whirled around, gray eyes spitting fire above a tight mouth. “Foolish. Do you think you’re the only one with healing capabilities? Is there not a camp a ride away, with other fresh healers? This is not a game Etain. You died; you stopped breathing and your heart stilled. What would the tribe have done without you, when I am gone?”
She sighed at Etain’s stricken look and her shoulders relaxed. “You have to be more careful, think. I can guarantee you won’t always be as lucky. Now you’d best get cleaned up. Now that you’re up we’ll probably be packing up camp.”
*
That night saw a merry encampment. The smaller fires had been foregone for a large central fire for everyone to sit and chat around. The Obikawa tribe had joined them when they set out that morning, and there were many new faces amongst the camp.
Alori sat a few women down from Etain, deep in conversation with her sister, food forgotten on her plate. Timo was sitting with Kaelynn and Rhiannon, regaling them with past heroics. Every so often he would glance up and smile when he caught her eyes, causing a blush to break out. She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about that kiss.
Content, she saw many smiling faces about the campfire. The Obikawa tribe had brought hope and joy with them.
Their tribe varied slightly in looks from Etain’s own. They had the classic black hair and tanned skin of every tribe excluding the Faylen, but were shorter and smaller in stature. They were also faster.
Etain didn’t notice Kaelynn moving until she stood before her, interupting her contemplations.
“Would you sing with me, the one about the lost boy we sang four years ago?”
“With pleasure, dear cousin, if you will count in.” Etain crinkled her eyes at Kaelynn over her taren.
As they stood, everyone quieted. With a nod from Kaelynn they burst into song. It was like two birds chasing each other around, the melody and harmony switching back and forth between them.
When they came to a climbing finish there were many applause. Many other stood up after that to sing. Most of the selection was happy and upbeat, reflecting the collective mood about being together and the upcoming festival. But there were a few songs scattered here and there of remembrance for those loved ones who had been lost and passed on. One such song was sung by Emily Fosters mother. By the time she’d sat down again there wasn’t a dry eye in the camp.
Before dousing the fire and heading off to their beds they sang one final prayerful song to the gods.
That morning, everyone was up before the crack of dawn. Excitement filled the air and children happily took advantage of their parents preoccupation to race around. There was talk of seeing family that had gone to travel with other tribes and catching up with old friends.
For Etain, the most exciting part besides the dance would be the horses. The Hitana tribe was legendary for their horsemanship skills and the caliber of their horses. The horses of the Anjinu tribe were like a desert lizard to a hakkau, there was no comparison.
Every Samhain festival Etain always watched eagerly to see if this would be the one time when the Hitana would auction off one of their precious horses. They went so far as to exclude any other horses in their breeding program. This was a somewhat sore point with some of the more horse-hearted members of the Anjinu tribe, who would love nothing more than to ride a Hitana horse.
By midday some of the bounce had been leeched out of their step by the heat. They stopped to make a picnic area with shade using tent covers and strategically placed hakkau.
“So, what are you going to do first after we finish setting up?” Timo asked Etain around a mouthful of food.
“I’m going to watch the three-year-old races. There’s a stallion out of Hanrah’s Born to Be Free that I can’t wait to see in the races.”
Rhiannon rolled her eyes with a muttered ‘figures’ and fed the rest of what was on her plate to Oisin.
Hakkau: A giant, lizard-like pack animal (much like komodo dragons in looks).
Karris Root: A root that when boiled, produces a salve with immense numbing qualitys. Used to treat wounds.
| Date | Name | Comment | | | 24 Dec 2006 |  Sabrina E G Withers |  Loading...So as mentioned at the Herscher project I have now read these 5 chapters. Yes I know I’m putting a comment only on the last one but it’s almost midnight and I can’t remember which chapter was which  Doncha just love those nights where everything all blurs together The setting is very interesting with the nomadic tribes, each with their own differences. I also like the bracelets and magic that goes into each persons chosen path. I am a little curious about Epona’s bracelet as I think you either don’t mention or (which is more likely) I missed the reference to which path hers was for. I probably forgot to mention. Hers was just used as a tool to figure out who was going to the dance .. but that was in the old version for chapter ... erm ... I think it was four. Whichever one the Gods Choice has become, I can’t keep track anymore. But I thought I took that part out ... but maybe I didn’t. [confuzzling herself] I do think that the tests are nice and well chosen for the type of person they are. I am looking forward to finding out what the last test is for Etain and if she will pass it first time... The Gods seem very hands on in this setting and it’s nice how you represent the tribes attitude to seeing them. I got a little confused with all the clothing names but think that again is more down to my tiredness than lack of explaining. I’m hoping, one of these days when I’m not feeling so lazy, to get the drawing I did of the clothing style up so that it will be easier to identify with what I’m describing. I do like how the descriptions are filtered in bit by bit as the characters go about their daily lives. That came about with much help and advice from friends. Timo is nice though you don’t get a great deal of input on him, it’s mostly from Etain’s point of view. However as she does have very specific ideas of her relationship to him you do get a good sense of his presence. All in all I look forward to seeing how this progresses with their prophecy and quest surrounding the lost city. I hope your writing muse rivives itself again soon. I know what it can be like getting part way into a story and then your brain hitting the brakes.  Oh and will we hear about any of Epona’s tests or do their tribe do things differently? mmm, her tribe (gypsy) aren’t quite the same as Etain’s and the rest of the "five" tribes. They don’t wear bracelets to signify their ranks within the tribe. Any jewelery they wear is specifically for asthetics. They seem slightly close in some aspects and very different in others. thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment! It is muchly appreciated!  Hope you have a good sleep!Missing:[/color] | |
| 24 Dec 2006 |  Naomi | Loading... heya ^_^ belated comemnt the best kind, but it’s here! [trumpets announce]
nitpicks first, praise later hehe. good non-ego inflating idea
’... the Gods[’] eyes...’ - now i know there’s more than one God in this world, so i’m just going to go and insert the apostrophe ^_^ [scribbles well deserved advice in margins]
tut tut tut, Etain, not doing any studying...*waggles finger* and then going riding while not in the proper attire! naughty...i like it ^_^ ahhh, in that respect she’s so much like me. [laughs]
’...Celyn soon [get rid of the comma here, put a semicolon, dash or full stop] their way of life in the desert was dying, as it became...’ aha, problem solved!
i love the little bit between Timo and Etain! get together for crying out loud, get together!! *has a cute little smile on her face and is bouncing* ahhh, the ever hopeful
where do you get all the detail? [perplexed by self] I dunno. it just comes and goes as it pleases. Probably why some of my pieces seem so random. It’s kind of annoying. I’ll have this great paragraph or chapter in my mind ... and then the ability goes away for an infinite period and I’m stuck with nothing else to add to the piece. Such as what’s happened to Moonchild. I’ve got to find an ending for that poor story. *is in awe* it’s just so amazing, and so...wow. it’s just...such a wonderful world you’ve built here. [squeeze!] I’m so glad that it comes across really well. I’d developed it over the past two years and then last winter all of a sudden it just really started coming together wonderfully. sporratic periods of written genious, HAH!
maybe put the ’i am here’ and that in italics. [wanders around to find the part you’re writing about
HE KISSED HER!! [grins] it’s amazing how easy it is to please some readers. I loved that part too*dances* [joins in dancing] he kissed her he kissed her he kissed her! YAAAAAAAY!!! timo i love you!!! Etain can be seen doing some Naomi doll vodoo
Lindsay: I don’t think she much likes the competition [laughs before scuttling for cover as Etain glares at her
this is by far your best chapter. the charactes: amazing. the descriptions: enthralling. the details: wonderful. it’s just....wow. heh..just wow... [is absolutely shocked with a warm fuzzy feeling inside] I can’t believe I’ve made you close to being speechless! [does incredibly happy dance]Missing:[/color] | |
| 28 Dec 2006 |  Elizabeth Wilcox | Loading... This story truly is amazing. I love it! In fact, I’m actually contemplating not reading it until it’s been published because this is just the sort of book I’d try to read as quickly as possible (one sitting being preferred). Whatever you do, keep writing! [Gushes] Oh wow! Thank you so much for that absolutely fantabulous comment! That absolutely made my day! Now I’m all excited to go and try writing more of desert rose, which is exactly the kick in the butt I needed in that department.
If you do decide that you’d rather not read it until it’s completely finished so you don’t have to wait (which is perfectly understandable) I’d be interested to hear your thoughts on Yshira. It’s a - not really darker - but there are some more dangerous and dark menaces the characters have to face than I normally write, and so I’m interested in hearing how it’s turning out and if it’s believable. It started out as a prize for Naomi, who really wanted to hear more about the gypsies in desert rose, but when they wouldn’t oblige, I figured I should write something for her. But it has turned into this. But I’m rambling, off to write! [scrambles away excitedly]Missing:[/color] | |
| 15 Mar 2007 |  Nancy Kelaria Chamberlain | Loading... *pouty scowls* this can’t be it! Where’s the rest? *sheepish smile* in my head? well, there’s a little bit on paper ... but not an entire chapter. My muses have taken an extended holiday on this one. But they’ve given me inspiration for another sleeping beauty story ... so hopefully I can start that one in a few minutes and get it up on my next ticket ... yay! I want to read it! I shall throw a tantrum if I can’t read the rest! Heh heh, tantrum ... is such a funny word Aside from the unfinishedness, lovely! Very captivating! ^_^ The editor in me notices gramatical and punctuational mistakes, but other than that, it was pretty great! Ah yes, must upload the newer, gramatically edited versions of those *dances* yay! ^_^ More! More!! I will do my best. Try poking him *points at Mert* it was his idea. -Nancy- | |
| 2 May 2007 |  Linda M. Billson | Loading... Well, I got to the part about the bandits attacking, which is a horrible place to stop, but I have to go to bed. It’s good so far. I shall return!*laughs at her own silliness* Last night I was finishing off my quota for the day on my nano project, and I ended up scaring myself so bad (because I was writing a creepy part) that I had to go out and sit in the living room with my dad before I could go to bed. How silly is that? The worst part is that I know what’s going to happen, I’m the writer! And I still managed to scare myself! And the part probably isn’t even that scary! Ugh! Missing:[/color] | |
| 4 May 2007 | Linda M. Billson | Loading... Oh, and about you scaring yourself with your own story, I know kind of how that feels. I’ve never really scared myself, but I’ve grossed myself out with things I’ve written about dead bodies or something, and I have been creeped out when reading back on things. I guess I haven’t written anything scary enough to frighten myself, but I may get there. I’ve never creeped or scared myself before with my writing, so it was a new experience. I know I’ve definitely scared myself reading other people’s works, but not my own. Hopefully that means that the parts I wrote that scared me will make other people nervous about what is going to happen, probably only if they read it at night though. | |
| 4 May 2007 | Linda M. Billson | Loading... Ah, well, that’s an okay place to stop. I would’ve cried if you had stopped it at Etain collapsing. I thought about it, but then I was sure I’d have a revolt from all the DR readers and decided against it. Which is a good thing, with Naomi blowing up my shelf, I’d hate to think of all the other damage that could go on. 0.o that would not have been very nice. Ah, but we all know that I’m not very nice when it comes to writing ^_^ or we should XP Timo finally kissed her! ’bout time. Yes, he seems to be a very slow mover in that department doesn’t he? Now that makes me want to say "silly boy, trix are for kids (cereal commercial) .... and I don’t know why I loved the descriptions of the healing "power" they had. It was very cool. Aw, thank you! I’m so glad everyone seems to love all the little details in there .... some purposeful and some not So next would be horse races?? Ah, if you had gotten here before I’d done so much editing, you would have had a peek at the next chapter (before I go and mangle with it, that is) because it was up before I started editing. Now it’s a bit outdated with what has happened in the previous chapters and I have to fix it up a bit before I could put it up. Yay! I’m so glad this is another one you love, as it’s one of my favorites that is up on this website, even though it has hardly been edited and all the grammar mistakes and such make me itch. Thank you for reading *huggles* | |
| 28 Aug 2008 |  Debbie Newcomb | Loading... Crazy bandits! How dare they attack people special to a main character! Very interesting what happened when she asked for more strength. Also, finally Timo! Geeze! ^_~ I only mention this because it really annoys me: it’s means it is, its means a possessive it as in its legs were study, as a table’s legs should be. Must...read.....the...next....one...  Lindsay Verde replies: "Bad bandits, bad! Hmmm ... that makes me want to write a story about bandits now ....
I know! I can’t believe Timo took 5 chapters to finally make a move! Such a slow one!
Ah, contrary to this piece, I know the rule ... [sigh] I just haven’t gotten to re-writing this part since I lost it when I changed computers, so I have to re-type it all up and then edit and it’s 15 pages or so ... and I’ll admit, I’m lazy in regards to this chapter. But I will do it soon ... because the grammar in this piece drives me to distraction!" | |
| 12 Oct 2008 |  Barbara J. Wickham | Loading... One question... There is a line which reads, "Since it was now eleven o’clock... " Do the tribes have clockwork, or is this perhaps a remanent from where the people originally came from? I’m just trying to clarify the tribe’s technological level. Nit-picky, I know.  The journey was very exciting. You wrote in a lot of great detail and made it very easy for me to visualize the activity. Also, it made me think of how I felt before my family took off on a road trip! Eeeee! I love it when stories draw me in on an emotional level. I can related to the characters and their situations, even though we are worlds apart! There’s something I’d like to mention about the bandit attack. I like how you kept the reader in the same suspense as the rest of the tribe when the men rode off to face the danger. Some writers would have the narration follow the men to describe the fighting, but you kept us with Etain and her point of view. Not sure why I liked what you did, but it did anchor us to Etain’s character in a realistic way, as opposed to the omnipresence of the other way. The reader has no advantage over the character’s own perspective. Does that make sense? Anyhoo, I also liked that we got a glimpse at one of Etain’s flaws. She showed a bit of over-confidence there by putting herself at such risk in the healing. Yeah, it may appear selfless; a lack of care for her own safety, but Delane put things into perspective for Etain very well. I’ll be curious to see if Etain over-extends her abilities again. Hmmm... Lindsay Verde replies: "Ah, I replied to this one but elfie screwed up and wouldn’t post it. I hope I’m not the only one that it’s still doing this to.
Ah, yes, you caught one of my kerfuffles ... that is a part I’m going back to change. I’ve decided I don’t like the impression of technology that line gives to the piece ... since there isn’t any. No, it’s good that you’re nit-picky, it helps a lot in catching in-continuity errors.
I wanted to keep the reader in suspense as to what was happening to everyone and also I didn’t think I could pull off a POV change at that point, seeing as Etain is the POV I’d been following that whole time, and then switch to a character the reader barely knew ... though I was tempted " | |
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