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Lindsay Verde

"Desert Rose - Chapter I" by Lindsay Verde

SF&F Picture 5 out of 26 by Lindsay Verde
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Desert Rose


Journey to the Haluri Desert Oasis with Etain, Rhiannon, and Epona, who are about to have an adventure of self discovery. Opening night of the Samhain festival comes and goes but it isn't until later during the celebrations that the prophecy takes a turn for the worse, and the three women are tossed into a series of events that will twist their lives upside-down and test their strength.

For Etain, being a healer was her greatest goal. Being a Daughter of the Tribe, her prospects for marriage seem to have dimmed and being useful is her only option. Tired of being refused and turned away, she has one last opportunity to achieve her goal.

Warning: This piece is overdue for a large re-write, which will take effect .... hopefully sometime in the near future. So if parts of the story disappear, never fear, they shall be back.

This celtic/arabic rendition of Sleeping Beauty is dedicated to Naomi who is a great encourager and I believe, someone who is secretly in love with Timo, Steph Schauer for all of her help editing which I'm just starting to post up now, and Angela Perry for her positive pokes to keep writing this.

Updated Nov 2007 - I have finally got around to editing this and putting it up with lots of help from Steph S! WARNING! I have only put up the edited versions of chapter 1 and 2, I still haven't managed to get around to chapter 3/4/5, so those are worse in the grammar department but I have edited them ... it's just a matter of typing them out on the computer.

I love hearing the readers' opinions on this piece, even if it's just to say you liked or hated it, I'd really appreciate it.
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Chapter One

Desert Rose

_____________________________





A lone woman stood with her back to the breeze as it carried sand from her dune out over the sprawling tent city below. A wolfhound sat regally by her side and a bareback black horse stood patiently behind her. The sun was just beginning to show its face in its ascent into the sky, warming the earth and bringing with it the fragrant smell of cooking fires and the day's first meal.



She wore a loose white robe belted at the waist with a red sash. Turning, she squinted her eyes against the sun, barely catching a glimpse of the sacred mountain on the distant horizon behind her. Everywhere she looked, golden desert sands met her eyes, but this didn't deceive her. She knew that to the west lay the towering Delgoa Mountains and to the south was the lush beauty of the Haluri Desert Oasis.



Sighing, Etain's shoulders slumped a bit as butterflies danced in her stomach. She had her meeting with the tribal council in a few hours. What was she getting herself into?



Oisin must've felt her turmoil as he trotted over and nudged her limp hand. He gave solace in the only way he knew how: craving attention.



A smile lifted the corners of her mouth as she turned and gave his ears a good rub before walking over to Iceni. Swinging herself up she whistled for Oisin to follow as they made their way down toward camp.



Passing the guards on duty, Etain waved as Iceni trotted amidst the tents. It was still early morning and people were just beginning to sit down to breakfast. She passed Suki's family tent and Suki's father, Arthak, looked up from their breakfast fire long enough to wave. Suki, one of Etain's oldest childhood friends, lived with her father and older brother Zane. Her mother had passed into the hands of Tchekichaun, God of the Dead, when Suki was only three.



Now that she was in the heart of the camp, the smell of bread-porridge assaulted her from all sides, making her mouth water. She could see the tent she shared with Rhiannon and her family up ahead.



Etain had lived in their tent for as far back she could remember and was considered one of their family. She, Rhiannon, and Setana shared a close sisterly bond. Timo, and here in her thoughts she blushed, only thought of her like a brother should, but she dared to hope that one day he might consider her more.



Both Etain and Rhiannon were tall, but Rhiannon had the desired thin figure while Etain was curvier. Rhiannon's straight black hair and green eyes were Etain's one envy since the Gods saw fit to stick her with wavy black hair that she could never do a thing with, and the most unromantic grey eyes.



Both Etain and Rhiannon were Daughters of the Tribe, a term used for girls and women in the Anjinu tribe whose fathers were unknown. If they reached six years of age and still went unclaimed by a line, their upbringing became the responsibility of the tribe.



Today the tribal council would decide whether or not Etain would begin her training as a healer. If they remained unmarried, the Tribal Daughters were disciplined in some form that would benefit the welfare of the tribe. Etain's choice had been to become a healer.



Thoughts of the council meeting had Etain sitting back, causing Iceni to slow to a walk. One thing Rhiannon and Etain did have in common was their reluctance to put themselves in public situations.



Etain dismounted in front of the tent and fetched a pail of mash for Iceni and some scraps of meat for Oisin before hading in to break her fast. Everyone was already seated on the rug in the center of the tent, awaiting her arrival. She took her seat without further ado and bowed her head as Alori, Rhiannon's mother, gave thanks to the Gods for the meal.



"You were out early this morning. Thinking about your meeting with the elders today?" Alori inquired as she filled and passed around bowls of the bread-porridge.



"Yes, I hope they will finally allow me to begin my training." And they can no longer hide behind the excuse of my not being old enough, since it doesn't look like I will be getting married anytime soon.



Since the last trainee had married a man from the neighboring Hitana tribe, the Anjinu tribe had been without an apt replacement for Princess Delane. Delane was no longer in the first bloom of youth and grew weary of being up at all hours of the night.



Etain was one of those girls who would've loved nothing better than to get married and raise a family, but it seemed that wasn't the Gods' wish for her. Many times Etain had prayed to Eitana, the Goddess of Love, but to no avail.



"Well, look on the bright side, nobody has died from one of these meetings in," Timo screwed up his face in a mockery of thought, "hundreds of years. And she only died because she'd angered the Gods. Done anything to anger the Gods lately?"



Etain just glared at him through narrowed eyes, trying not to smile. But when Alori smacked him across the back of the head as she walked past, Etain couldn't help laughing at his injured look.



After they had finished the meal and put away the dishes, Rhiannon helped Etain to pick an appropriate outfit for the meeting. Etain shimmied out of her riding clothes of that morning and into the clothes Rhiannon handed her. Rhiannon had selected white billowing pants, called pilah, with a sky blue robe to follow overtop. This robe, called a sutah, was longer in length, falling almost all the way to the top of Etain's feet, and was too narrow for anything but walking. Gold embroidery graced the hemline, neck, and sleeves.



Rhiannon braided Etain's hair and set a gold circlet upon her forehead. The final touch was the taren. Rhiannon had picked out a dark blue to complement the blue of her sutah. The taren was a long rectangular piece of cloth that wrapped around the head and lower face so that only the eyes and a bit of the cheeks were showing. The end was wrapped over the right shoulder and across the chest to the left hip where it wrapped around back before fanning out across the skirt of the sutah and was secured with a brooch. It was a formal outfit, one women wore when attending tribal meetings or in dealings with outsiders. Generally, most women wore only a pilah with a sutah overtop, and a gold or silver circlet, attire more suited to the daily chores.



The only other time women had to cover their faces were if they were wearing their riding clothes, which were considered men's attire. Women were required to wear a burnoose to cover their face and head. It worked out well, since it prevented the choking sand their horses kicked up from assailing their faces.



Etain set out across the sands toward the council's tent, Oisin shadowing her. At the entrance to the tent Oisin sat in the shade to wait for her as the guard pulled aside the door flap. He would probably get bored and go chase a bug after a few minutes. She just hoped he didn't run through someone's clean laundry again.



Etain squinted at the shadows of the council members in the dimness inside the tent. The men were sitting on pillows arranged in a semicircle on the carpet. Halek, the head member and leader of their tribe, sat in the middle of the semi-circle, and it was before him that Etain stopped. She knelt, touching her forehead to the floor in a show of respect and his seniority of rank. In acknowledgement of this, each council member brought their hand from their chest to their lips and flicked outward.



"So, you have come here to meet with the council in order to be granted permission to train as a healer, this is correct?" Halek questioned as Etain took her seat.



A simple yes was her only answer. Six men of the tribe walked in bearing small boxes, which they lined up in front of the council. Looking closely at the men, Etain noticed Zane among them. When he caught her eye he winked and gave a small smile, causing the tightness in her chest and throat to loosen a little.



From the boxes were removed six golden bracelets. The first three, engraved with the sword and shield of a warrior in training, the staff of a shaman, and the makou fig leaf, were the hardest to attain. They each had four or more tests that had to be completed. The other three, the linnet of a bard, orb of a mystic, and the sun shadowed by the crescent moon or a priest, were easier to attain because they had less trials.



As one the council members lifted their hands to the Heavens as their voices blended in the age-old chant asking the Gods, Sordan and Dijuin, for guidance and light. At first nothing happened and Etain swallowed nervously, but as she watched a ball of light coalesced above their heads. Their chant finished, the tribal members all watched as the ball of light drifted down and disappeared into the bracelet engraved with the makou leaf, causing it to glow.



"The Gods have spoken," the eldest of the tribe member's announced as the light dimmed and went out. He picked up the healers bracelet and placed it on her outstretched arm. With that the breath whooshed out of her chest in a sigh of relief and the band constricting her heart dissolved.



"The first of the trials has been passed; tomorrow you will start your training."



Etain was dismissed and she exited the tent full of wonder and disbelief. She'd actually done it; she had passed the first trial!



Etain fairly skipped back on her way to the tent to change. Oisin, who was usually calm and sedate, jumped at her hands as she moved along, barking for everyone to hear.



When she came abreast of the Armindo family tent, Annie came hurrying out. Her dark brown hair was unbound, telling Etain that she'd been working in the tent for some time. Annie could never stand having her hair pulled up for long.



With eyes sparkling excitement and a smile on her face, Annie offered her congratulations as she enveloped Etain in a hug.



Aster, Annie's younger sister and one of Setana's best friends, came out as Etain was stepping back, and soon the entire family had emerged to congratulate her. Many other members of the tribe stopped as they passed by to find out how she did and offer smiles and hugs.



It was another half an hour before she blew into her tent and told the news to her family. Alori insisted on making a special treat for them after dinner to celebrate.



The mood was definitely festive as they prepared that evenings meal. Setana had been sent out to invite the Ihpac, William, Arthak, and Armindo families to join their campfire for the meal.



There was much laughter and conversation during the meal and afterwards they set aside the dishes and sang.



Etain was covertly watching Timo, who sat across the campfire talking with Aldin, when Zane appeared in front of her, asking her to join him in a song. As Zane sang the first opening notes, everyone hushed to listen. The song was of the Fairy King Midir and his search for his lost love. At its conclusion, a sigh whispered around the campfire and they received many compliments on their singing.



The twins, Kelten and Estan, four years younger than Etain, were the next to stand up and sing, followed by Etain's friend Mercy and her sister, Yasemin. After everyone around the campfire had stood up to sing at least once, William leaned forward to ask, "Rhiannon, won't you sing another before I'm off to bed?"



Rhiannon's accompaniment had been much sought after this evening. Hers was the type of voice that enriched the voice of anyone who sang alongside her.



As the hauntingly lyrical cadence of her voice wove with the brilliance of the stars, Etain felt her gaze drift over the sleeping form of Aster, curled into her mother Juanita's arms. Mercy's mother, Mhairi, sat with her head resting on William's shoulder, eyes closed with a smile gracing her lips. Watching her, Etain felt an answering smile flit across her face as her brain drowsily began processing the day's major events. It had been a good day.



With the conclusion of Rhiannon's song everyone began to stir, collecting dirty dishes and blankets, heading off into the darkness accompanied by the sighing wind as they sought their tents.



←- Cast Me Gently | Desert Rose - Chapter II -→

DateNameComment 
28 Jan 2008:-) Glo 'the Bug' Bowden
Beautiful. I love the culture you’ve created! Did you do research into other cultures to create this? I’m curious as to the inspiration. I mean, you had it down to the name of each article of clothing. I especially loved the sense of community, the idea of the title "Daughter of the Tribe", and the extra cool names!

The writing is beautiful and descriptive. It’s a bit hard to keep track of all the characters that you’ve introduced, though. I don’t know what to suggest. I wouldn’t have you change it, since introducing all these people immediately throws us into the everyday life of the village as seen through the eyes of Etain, and makes her more real.

:-) Lindsay Verde replies: "Nope, I didn’t end up doing any research, just created the entire culture from my head. This was made while working at Minter Gardens over the Christmas break two years ago, selling tickets for the train ride and the lights show ... there were many a slow night with nothing to do and so this was born. ^_^ This was originally a submission for one of the Wyvern Projects, where the theme was community ... that’s why the sense of community in the story had to be so developed.

Yeah, I’ve got to do quite a bit of work on this piece to make it easier on the reader, but I still love it ^_^."
9 May 200845 Linda
hmm.....for some reason it’s telling me that I wrote that comment up there (same as Sarvat Hasin’s) and I’m all weirded out. Crazy as I am, I don’t think I would’ve done that. Some Elfwood glitches, eh? 2

I am so looking forward to next Friday. *Chanting* May 16th! May 16th! Caspian! Caspian! Narnia! Narnia! (I’m excited, no?)

:-) Lindsay Verde replies: "Yep, blame that one on the glitch team! heh heh

YAY Prince Caspian! SOOO looking forward to that one! *dances* who you going to see it with?"
24 May 2008:-) B. Layne Weaver
Mm, very pretty opening paragraph. It creates an amazing amount of atmosphere with just those few sentences.

She wore a loose white robe belted at the waist with a red sash.
That sentence doesn’t seem to fit with the second paragraph, for the rest of the paragraph talks of her surroundings, not her appearance. Perhaps try to fit it into the first paragraph when you are describing her and her companions?

I like the name Tchekichaun ^_^ Very spiffy!

Neat idea, the Daughters of the Tribe. Glad that the tribe pitches in with the upbringing of ’fatherless’ children. Is there an equivalent for male children?

Heheheh, Timo is cute ^_^

The other three, the linnet of a bard, orb of a mystic, and the sun shadowed by the crescent moon [or] a priest, were easier to attain because they had [less] trials.
-- Did you mean "of" a priest? Also, should be "fewer" trials ^_^

Heh, Annie’s the opposite of me. I can’t stand having my hair down. I’ve always hated the feeling of having my hair on the back of my neck. That’s probably why it was so easy for me to shave my head last winter and the winter before (but not this past winter... I finally missed having a ponytail and let it grow back ^_^)

Ah, nice chapter, Liz! I have a growing fascination with desert-based people in fantasy. Probably because I’m getting ready to start the Dune series ^_^ I had a dream of a desert boy a few months ago, one I’d like to turn into a short story as soon as my muse decides to cooperate.

Nicely done!

:-) Lindsay Verde replies: "Yep, I’m definitely horrible at my paragraph structure though I am trying harder at it.

Yeah, I have absolutely no idea what recesses of my imagination that name came from ... it’s pronounced ’Check - I (as in fit) - con’

No equivalent for male children as they are kept by their fathers because they carry on the family name.

Yes, I do quite adore Timo - so shy. He’s second only to Callum in Yshira.

Argh! Me and my typing errors, my laptop hates me.

I can’t stand when my hair’s down when it’s hot, otherwise it’s not too bad. I used to hate having it down too ... but I guess it was one of those things that I grew out of, along with hating pb&j sandwiches. I’m too chicken to shave my head, I know it’s a funny shape and I have a big dent at the back so it’d look horrible shaved.

Yay! I’m glad you have a growing fascination, that bodes well for another story I’m working on! (same genre, traditionalist fantasy - but I’m experimenting with a different culture style, a mix of arabic/asian with a few of my own ideas thrown in. I haven’t written much on it yet but I have lots of plans for society ideals of women and propriety and such and I have a more developed religious system too - still a pantheon of gods, but different views on them."
4 Jun 2008:-) Linda M. Billson
Since Elfwood ate my former comment, I decided to read it again and post another!

I absolutely love the picture of the tribe - what they wear - how they act toward one another...it’s all very realistic and believable. And of course her dog Oisin (did I get that right?) is adorable - you have to have the adorable dogs thrown in, don’t you! 1



:-) Lindsay Verde replies: "Ah, you know me so well! Yes, I just have to have the fun dogs! It’s because I can’t see myself without an animal companion - I think the biggest challenge for me would be to write a piece where the main character hated animals ... oo, actually, that might be a good personality trait for a villain! [starts humming cruella de vil]

I love them too! I still need to do more work to express the environment to its full potential but I really do adore their tribe’s atmosphere."
9 Aug 2008:-) Amanda Nikese
I like this re-write. You have a talent for world building, the attention to detail, in regards to the clothing, gods, and characters, really brings everything to life. I think a little more description of the physical make up of the camp would make this even better, Like the way things feel, materials, really get into the gritty detail of it, but not too wordy, it’s a delicate balance...but I digress. Well done!

:-) Lindsay Verde replies: "I’m glad you enjoyed this chapter a second time. After re-reading it myself I’m just itching to get my editing hands on it ... but I’m going to try and resist until ... well, either I finish chapter six or else finish the entire thing ... I’m not sure which. We’ll see how well I can hold out"
16 Aug 2008:-) Lena V. Bazhenova
Nice story! Regarding technical stuff, there are a few minor typos. Also, I felt that it didn’t flow very well. I think that the short paragraphs make it sound really choppy, however this is just my opinion 2

:-) Lindsay Verde replies: "I agree, this story still needs a lot of work ... which it will eventually get. Like I mentioned in the intro, I’m just itching to get my hands on what I’ve already written to edit and re-write it but I’m not allowing myself to do that until I finish the rest of it first. Thanks for stopping by to comment."
28 Aug 2008:-) Debbie Newcomb
I feel like I should be listening to music in a minor key when I’m reading this. ...the one that makes me think of the middle east, not one of the other ones. anyhoos.... *shakes head to clear it of crazy chatter* Hooray! She can become a healer! Must... read... more...

:-) Lindsay Verde replies: "I love listening to music while reading, it does so much to enhance the world! When I was younger I read the Little House on the Prairie series to Sarah McLachlan and now I always associate her music to that ... which is nice, because then you can sit back and listen to music and when a specific song comes on, a little memory from the story pops up"
10 Sep 2008:-) Barbara J. Wickham
I really like the way the story rolled, right from the start. You brought me into Etain’s world first at a wide angle in describing the greater surroundings and then drawing me into her character by describing Etain and her companions. *gives Oisin and Iceni friendly pats*

Right away I found myself engaged in what was happening and what was coming. As Etain passed thru her tribe, drawing the other characters into the story line I became anxious for her and the coming meeting with the council. Etain is an extremely likable character and I look forward to getting to know her and her people more.

One thing that was unclear to me is who Etain’s mother is. Was Etain born into the tribe, or was she a foundling? Sorry if I missed it. I know you said you have some editing yet to do, but I thought this was worth mentioning.

I’m off to chapter 2! 3

:-) Lindsay Verde replies: "This entire story started with the image at the beginning of this chapter, of a woman standing on a sand dune with her horse and hound, and the title Desert Rose ... which had originally been assigned to another story that I didn’t like anymore. It’s amazing how this thing progressed ... with a lot of help listening to Enya and looking up celtic legends.

I’ve still got a lot of work to do on developing characters ... I think I’ve made Etain a wee bit too likable ... coming from my own desire to be liked I guess. Hmmm ... I’ll have to look into the confusion of Etain’s mother ... I’m still not entirely sure how the story is going to develop ... just knowing where I want it to go, so who, exactly, her mother is might come into play later ... which I think it might have to ... ooops, hope I didn’t give anything away there!"
21 Oct 2008:-) Kirsten Joryn Martinez
Alright I finally got around to finishing your story and it was wonderful! All the names did get a tad confusing but it was great non the less. Keep up the good work.12

:-) Lindsay Verde replies: "I hate when that happens to me. I hope it wasn’t the fact that the names were too similar that caused the confusion? But I’m happy you enjoyed it. Hopefully the ending will come up this summer after I graduate from uni and have more time to do the things I love. Thanks for visiting! Drop by anytime!"
31 Mar 2009:-) Allison L. Miller
*sigh* Beautiful! I just love the sense of...one-ness that the tribe shares! When she seceded in her trials, it wasn’t just her family that came to congratulate her but the whole tribe! Simply wonderful! The whole thing kind of has a utopian feel to it. I also really like the world that you’ve portrayed. Kind of an Arabian Nights meet Lords of the Rings, I would say, lol. This isn’t the first one of your stories that I’ve read, and one thing that I have definitely noticed in your writing is your voice. You have a unique voice that shines through in all your work, and I have to say that that is very important in a writer! Awsome work! Alas, I would go on to the second chapter, but...*looks at the clock* tis my late. I guess each chapter would make a good bedtime story huh? lol. Again, great work!


:-) Lindsay Verde replies: "*hugs* thanks for coming to visit and read!

I admit, I’m a sucker for utopian societies ... as evidenced yet again by my latest piece, King’s Rider. It’s neat figuring out how to make unique cultures and dynamics. I’m a sucker for creating worlds and this one was no exception. *is wishing the extranet would come back online so she could post more*"
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About 'Desert Rose - Chapter I':
 • Status: OK
 • Created by: :-) Lindsay Verde
 • Copyright: ©Lindsay Verde. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Etain, Princess, Daughter, Tribe, Hakkau, Horses, Dogs, Tents, Desert
 • Categories: Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc., Royalty, Kings, Princes, Princesses, etc, Celtic
 • Views: 762


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Amber Spyglass I
Desert Rose - Chapter III
Near to Dreams - Part II
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Near to Dreams - Part VI

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